How Much Longer?
I remember riding down the road as a kid and wondering how much longer we could possibly be in the car. I wanted to get out and move my legs. Inevitably I would ask my parents how long it would take to get to wherever we were going. As a parent, I am now frequently on the receiving end of that question. My kids want to know exactly how many minutes it will take to reach our destination. I can identify with their desire to know exactly how much longer they have to endure the boredom of riding down the road listening to dad’s music.
As a graduate student, I find myself asking a similar question. How many days do I have to finish up my assignments? In one way, I want to finish as quickly as possible. I want the constant stress of always having too much to complete to finally go away. What will it feel like to not have the next assignment or next semester looming over me? Yet, in another way, I would prefer to have more time to accomplish everything. Finishing on time often feels impossible.
“We know about the anxiety and dread Jesus experienced when praying in the garden, when he asked for the cup to pass from him. But I wonder how he felt before then.”
Even if we know exactly how much time we have until something is over, considering how much longer can stir a variety of emotions. Sometimes we want to hold on; other times we’re ready to let go. Often there is a mixture of both.
I wonder how Jesus felt when he entered Jerusalem and prepared to celebrate the Passover. We know about the anxiety and dread Jesus experienced when praying in the garden, when he asked for the cup to pass from him. But I wonder how he felt before then. Did Jesus want more time to minister to the people? Did he desire more opportunities to teach? Or did he yearn to complete his mission? Was he ready to get the torture over with so he could move on to the resurrection and not have impending doom weighing on his soul? I wonder if Jesus felt all these things and more.
With Good Friday approaching, I am reflecting on how Jesus might have felt during this time. I am taking a moment to simply wonder about what he might have been thinking as he rode the donkey into Jerusalem. I do not expect answers. But maybe, just maybe, I will have a moment of insight about what it means to finish well.